Insects exercising?

Oh no!

Ridiculous thought? Of course. But have you ever contemplated that we're the only creatures that engage in such self-torture? Ever see a horse performing push-ups? A chimp pumping iron? A fish swimming laps?

Isn't it absurd that we — the only species intelligent enough to speak complex languages, ponder our past and future, and extraordinarily modify our environment — are the only species that seeks to expend precious energy to perform monotonously repetitive tasks that are totally non-productive, other than working up a sweat.

Convinced that this is good for us — many devote time, energy and a lot of money to pursue insane torture programs. Some indulge in lifting heavy metal with

Too many go nowhere on contraptions for stationary biking, running, etc.

lots of reps and sets. Others latch onto myriad fads like jogging, aerobics, isometrics, and jumping over ropes and on trampolines. And too many go nowhere on expensive contraptions for stationary biking, running, skiing, climbing and rowing.

Most — unfortunately — do not attain a healthful status even with the torture of recreational exercise. There are a few though that curiously can eat endlessly, never gain a pound, and maintain perfectly normal lab test results. A few rare, natural mesomorphs spark envy looking like Mr. or Ms. Universe with little more effort than breathing. How could this be? "It's in their genes!" cry the jealous.

Well, duh!

Copyright © 2010 Creators Syndicate, Inc. Reprinted with permission.

So what if you could achieve and maintain the health that physical exercise promised, without any effort? Be honest. If you could stay in so-called perfect physical condition and health without exercise, would you still workout? No flabby arms. No "spare tire." No "cellulite." No accretion of fat molecules atop the gluteus maximus. Just toned muscles, ideal body fat percentage, cardiovascular fitness and — no pain!

By midcentury this fantasy becomes a reality. It was discovered soon after the human genome was mapped in 2003 that embedded "on top" of our DNA are complex epigenetic "switches" controlling which

DNA switches are tailored to "sculpt" your preferred body shape.

DNA segments are exposed to the protein-making machinery.

These switches would be leveraged to "sculpt" your preferred body shape by regulating the quantity and quality of the various chemical and structural components that make up our bodies. Ironically, it is the so-called 'junk' DNA,^{RealityCheck!} ignored for 50 years, that harbors these epigenetic growth-controlling switches.

It took several decades to successfully coordinate lifestyle drugs governing the "body weight set point," DNA reengineering and brainerama (artificial DNA processes) to tailor these switches to "sculpt" the preferred body shape. Of course this was in concert with the consumption of the single food source, Polynutriment provided by Phrenicea.

Just as your nose "knows" what shape it should maintain as it constantly replaces expired cells, all of your internal growth processes could now be tuned to "know" what you have chosen to be your preferred appearance — as well as maintain your optimum internal chemical balance for longevity.